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Don’t Be Afraid of the Sadness

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Café Menu for Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Today’s Special is: How To Be Joyful When You Are Not Feeling So Joyful
Carefully prepared just for you by your friend, Lara Sadowski
Main Ingredient:

Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you; surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 NASB

Entrée:

Normally at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I am jumping around like a kid in a candy store.  I am dreaming about turkey and dressing, shopping, Christmas cards and decorating.  Love this time of year!  However, this year is different.

My mother-in-law passed away suddenly on January 10, 2015.  She was so young, and everyone loved her… especially my sweet husband David.  His heart is still hurting from her death, so these holidays are not going to be easy for him and my father-in-law.

My mother-in-law loved the holidays.  She loved cooking and buying presents, so her excitement about Thanksgiving and Christmas makes my David even more down.  I finally brought up Thanksgiving to him the other day, and his blue eyes turned downward.

The firsts are always the hardest.  First Christmas without her.  First Thanksgiving without her.  First birthday without her.  Bless his heart – he’s really hurting.  We all are.  So what should we do?

Isaiah tenderly tells us in our Scripture to not fear.  Don’t be afraid of the sadness.  Don’t be afraid of the tears.  They are both part of the healing process.

He also said to not be anxious.  Don’t worry about anything. In my husband and father-in-law’s case, I suggested that we celebrate however they want to celebrate.  If they don’t want to celebrate in the traditional way, that’s okay.  They need to be kind to their hearts as The Lord heals them.

This year, we may go out to dinner instead of having a big home-cooked celebration.  At Christmas, we may go out of town instead of celebrating at home.  Everyone’s situation is different.  The most important thing is to just lean on God as He walks you through the grieving process.

I know that it’s not easy to go through the holidays, looking at all the happy people singing Christmas carols or joyfully shopping for the big feasts.  If you are experiencing the death of a loved one, you need to know and remember how much God loves you.  He knows how much you are hurting because His Son Jesus died for us.  Isaiah also proclaimed that He will strengthen you, help you and uphold you.

When you are hurting, talk to someone and cry when you feel like it.  Crying is not a bad thing; it’s actually healing.

Most importantly, sweet friend, you need to know you are not alone.  You have a Heavenly Father who adores you and will heal your heart one day at a time.  Just lean on Him.

Take Out:

Make a plan for Thanksgiving and Christmas that is right for you.  Your friends and family will absolutely understand and will help you to do what is right for you.

Dessert:

Father, as happy and joyful as Thanksgiving and Christmas are, these days can be so painful for Your children who are experiencing loss of loved ones.  Please strengthen them and walk with them through this season of grieving.  These upcoming days will not be easy, Lord, but we can do all things through You because You strengthen us.  We love You so much.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

For more encouragement, visit Lara at laralsadowski.com.

© 2015 by Lara Sadowski.  All rights reserved.

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1 Comment

Lara,
You wrote this for my God to deliver to me this morning.  You see my dad committed suicide in our basement yesterday morning and I discovered him when I awoke.  I knew that he was depressed but thought we were moving in the right direction.  I had moved in with my parents last spring because of a divorce and my mom needed my help with some of her health conditions. 

My 86 year old dad was still very active and we did a lot of things together this summer.  I also said many things to him that I regret and wish I had been more patient and understanding that he was slowing down.  I tried to mother him and didn't realize until lately that I may have been furthering his idea of uselessness. 

We spent Thanksgiving in the hospital as they diagnosed that his heart had an Afib beat and he also had depression.  I did not take anything from the house that he could use to harm himself.  Although I regret that I also know that I could not remove all the possible options.  As I was up with him the night of his death, I did do one thing. 

He was worried about me and that I had too much on me which really isn't the case.  When he asked me to go back to bed and get some sleep, I did go back to bed but I didn't go to sleep.  The one thing that I did was respect his last request for his little girl and listened to what he told me.  Perhaps in others eyes that was wrong but in my heart I believe it was right.  Thank you for sharing.

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